Pet Sweep Dog Mop Booties: The Baby Mop for Dogs, Because Apparently Human Infants Weren't the Only Family Members Available for Floor Labor

If you read our review of the Baby Mop — the onesie with mop pads that turned crawling infants into unpaid janitors — you might have thought: "That's the most unethical floor-cleaning scheme I've ever seen." You were wrong. It gets worse. Someone made the same product for dogs.

Pet Sweep mop booties are microfiber pads that strap to your dog's paws. The dog walks. The pads contact the floor. The floor gets wiped. Your dog is mopping.

Your DOG is MOPPING.

The product takes the Baby Mop's concept — conscripting a family member into janitorial labor without their knowledge or consent — and applies it to an animal that is even LESS equipped to negotiate employment terms than a human infant. At least the baby will eventually grow up, learn to speak, and refuse. The dog will never learn to refuse in a language you understand. The dog will refuse in the only language it has: by shaking the booties off, chewing the booties off, or lying down and refusing to walk until the booties are removed.

Dogs in booties walk like they're on a frozen lake — high-stepping, sliding, looking at their paws with the bewildered horror of a creature whose feet have been tampered with. This is a well-documented phenomenon. There are thousands of YouTube videos of dogs in booties performing what can only be described as "malfunctioning horse." The comedy of dogs in booties is universal. The tragedy of dogs in CLEANING booties is specific: the malfunction is the feature. The dog's confused, sliding, high-stepping walk is supposed to be cleaning your floor. The comedy IS the labor.

The Glorious User Experience

Tina from Austin, TX — ★☆☆☆☆

"I put the mop booties on my labrador, Cooper. Cooper took one step. His legs went in four different directions simultaneously like a baby deer on a frozen pond. He looked at me. He looked at his feet. He looked at me again. His expression said: 'We had a deal. I provide love and security. You provide food and walks. Nowhere in the deal was MOPPING.' He lay down and refused to move for seven minutes. I removed the booties. He has not forgiven me. One star."

Jake from Denver, CO — ★☆☆☆☆

"My dog, a border collie, is extremely smart. Border collies are the smartest dog breed. Within thirty seconds of wearing the mop booties, my extremely smart dog figured out how to remove all four booties using only his teeth and a level of determination I have never seen him apply to any task, including the time a squirrel was in the yard. He removed the booties, lined them up in a row in front of me like evidence at a trial, and walked away. The jury had deliberated. The verdict was guilty. One star."

Sarah from Portland, OR — ★☆☆☆☆

"The mop booties pick up dog hair. FROM THE FLOOR. My dog is the source of the dog hair on the floor. The mop booties attached to the dog are picking up hair that the dog previously shed. The dog is cleaning up after itself using booties it didn't ask for. This is a closed-loop system of canine janitorial self-service. The dog is the mess AND the mop. This is either genius or an existential crisis with Velcro. One star."