Pets
Pet products so bad your animal might file for emancipation. From toxic treats to terrifying toys, we find the worst so Fido does not have to.
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Perfect Polly: A $15 Fake Bird on a Perch That Turns Its Head and Chirps, for People Who Want a Pet Bird Without the Bird
Battery-powered companionship for people who looked at a parakeet and thought 'I want that, but less alive and more depressing' ⭐ Rating: 1/5 | Category: Auto & Outdoor | Tone:...
Puppy Tweets: A Collar That Auto-Posted Generic Dog Tweets to Twitter, Because Your Dog's Social Media Presence Was Apparently Lacking
Pre-written tweets like 'I just ate something from the trash!' posted automatically from a collar sensor — Mattel thought your dog needed a Twitter account in 2009 ⭐ Rating: 1/5...
Dog Wine: Non-Alcoholic Beet Juice for Dogs Who Have Never Once Requested a Wine Pairing
'CharDog-Nay' is a pun so bad it should carry a prison sentence, and the product is beet juice in a wine bottle sold to people who project their lifestyle onto animals that eat...
Pet Sweep Dog Mop Booties: The Baby Mop for Dogs, Because Apparently Human Infants Weren't the Only Family Members Available for Floor Labor
Mop pads strapped to your dog's paws, turning walks into janitorial shifts and your dog's dignity into a casualty of your cleaning schedule ⭐ Rating: 1/5 | Category: Pets | Tone:...
The PooTrap: A Harness That Straps a Bag to Your Dog's Rear End, Humiliating Both of You Simultaneously
Because what every dog needs is a plastic bag taped to its butt, flapping in the wind, collecting deposits, while the neighborhood watches ⭐ Rating: 1/5 | Category: Pets | Tone:...
CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kit: Teach Your Cat to Use the Toilet, Then Watch Your Cat Poop on Your Pillow in Protest
A product promising to eliminate the litter box that instead eliminated your cat's respect for you, your plumbing, and the concept of indoor furniture as non-bathroom surfaces ⭐...
The Potty Patch Indoor Dog Turf: $40 Astroturf You Clean Dog Poop Off By Hand While Your Apartment Slowly Becomes Uninhabitable
For people who think 'What if the park, but inside, and terrible?' ⭐ Rating: 1/5 | Category: Home | Tone: Dark Humor --- The Potty Patch is a three-layer system consisting of...
PawPal Automatic Feeder: Your Pet Will Stage a Hunger Strike
An automated pet feeder that dispenses food on a schedule. The schedule, unfortunately, is "whenever the motor feels like working, which is never at mealtime."