The Definitive NoWantThis Ranking of America's Worst Presidents: A Consumer Review of Leaders Nobody Asked For
We reviewed 45 products in the Commander-in-Chief category. Most should be recalled.
Look, we've reviewed some truly horrifying products here at No Want This. The Juicero. The Shake Weight. That Samsung phone that doubled as a pipe bomb. But nothing — nothing — compares to the absolute parade of defective merchandise that is the American presidency. These are men who were handed the most powerful position on earth and said, "Watch me speedrun a legacy of shame."
We ranked them. Worst to slightly less worst. Grab a drink. You'll need it.
10. Warren G. Harding (1921–1923)
The Promise: A "Return to Normalcy" after World War I. Just a handsome guy from Ohio who'd steady the ship.
The Reality: Harding's administration was basically a group chat called "Crimes." The Teapot Dome scandal involved his Interior Secretary secretly leasing federal oil reserves to private companies in exchange for bribes and no-interest loans. His Attorney General was taking payoffs. His Veterans Bureau chief embezzled $250 million from wounded soldiers. He had the decency to die in office before all of it fully unraveled, which is the presidential equivalent of returning a defective product before anyone reads the reviews.
Amazon Review Energy: "Arrived broken. Multiple parts missing. Caught fire in the closet."
9. Zachary Taylor (1849–1850)
The Promise: War hero. "Old Rough and Ready." The kind of guy who'd wrestle America's problems to the ground.
The Reality: Taylor owned approximately 150 enslaved human beings while serving as president. His "moderate on slavery" positioning was basically "I own a whole lot of people but I don't think more states should be allowed to do it." He then ate a bowl of cherries and iced milk on a hot Fourth of July and died 16 months into the job. Product lifespan: unacceptable.
Amazon Review Energy: "Lasted less time than my free trial subscription. Also, profoundly immoral."
8. Herbert Hoover (1929–1933)
The Promise: A brilliant engineer and humanitarian who'd bring efficiency to government.
The Reality: The Great Depression showed up nine months into his term, and Hoover's response was essentially to stand in front of a burning building and tell everyone the fire was "a passing incident." He opposed direct federal relief to starving Americans because he thought it would damage their character. People living in shanty towns named them "Hoovervilles" as a thank you.
Amazon Review Energy: "Told me to fix it myself. Then sent the military to my house."
7. Millard Fillmore (1850–1853)
The Promise: Steady hand. Reasonable moderate. The kind of president whose name you'd forget.
The Reality: Fillmore signed the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, which required citizens in free states to help capture and return escaped enslaved people or face fines and imprisonment. After his presidency, he ran again on the anti-immigrant Know-Nothing ticket.
Amazon Review Energy: "Product arrived with a feature I didn't order: state-sponsored kidnapping."
6. Franklin Pierce (1853–1857)
The Promise: Youngest president at the time. Democrats thought he'd be a great compromise candidate.
The Reality: Pierce signed the Kansas-Nebraska Act, effectively repealing the Missouri Compromise and causing "Bleeding Kansas" — literal armed warfare between pro-slavery and anti-slavery settlers. Even his own party didn't renominate him. The only president too sad and destructive for a second term with his own team.
Amazon Review Energy: "Somehow made everything worse. Came pre-broken."
5. John Tyler (1841–1845)
The Promise: First vice president to assume the presidency after a death. Set the precedent for succession.
The Reality: Tyler owned approximately 70 enslaved people while serving as president. After his presidency, he literally committed treason — serving in the Confederate Congress during the Civil War. He is the only president to have his death not officially mourned by the U.S. government because he had joined the enemy.
Amazon Review Energy: "Product switched sides. Literally joined the competition. Wants to destroy the store."
“That Samsung phone that doubled as a pipe bomb”
Click to Tweet4. Donald Trump (2017–2021; 2025–)
The Promise: Drain the Swamp. Run government like a business. Make everything great.
The Reality: According to the 2024 Presidential Greatness Project Expert Survey of over 500 political scientists, Trump received a score of 10.92 out of 100 — dead last among all 45 presidents. He's the only president to be impeached twice, face 91 felony criminal charges, and whose supporters stormed the U.S. Capitol to overturn an election. He suggested injecting disinfectant on live television. He stared directly at a solar eclipse.
Amazon Review Energy: "Reviews are either 'best product ever made' or 'this product burned my house down.' There is no middle ground. Product is currently under indictment."
3. Andrew Johnson (1865–1869)
The Promise: Lincoln's hand-picked successor who'd heal the nation after the Civil War.
The Reality: Johnson vetoed the Civil Rights Act, opposed the 14th Amendment, and systematically dismantled Reconstruction, allowing former Confederate states to pass Black Codes that recreated slavery in all but name. Johnson took Lincoln's legacy, set it on fire, and then vetoed the fire department.
Amazon Review Energy: "Replacement product worse than the original defect. Actively sabotages repairs."
2. James Buchanan (1857–1861)
The Promise: Decades of political experience. The most "qualified" man alive for the job.
The Reality: Buchanan watched seven states secede from the Union and did nothing. He argued that secession was illegal but that the federal government had no power to stop it. Buchanan is the consensus pick for worst president among virtually every panel of historians. He had every tool available to prevent the Civil War and instead chose to organize his desk while the country literally dissolved.
Amazon Review Energy: "Watched the house burn down. Said it wasn't in his job description to call 911."
1. Andrew Jackson (1829–1837)
The Promise: Man of the people. War hero. First president who wasn't a Virginia or Massachusetts aristocrat.
The Reality: Jackson owned approximately 200 enslaved people and actively profited from the slave trade. But the big one: the Indian Removal Act of 1830 and the Trail of Tears. Jackson forcibly relocated over 60,000 Native Americans from their ancestral homelands. Thousands died of starvation, disease, and exposure during forced marches in the dead of winter. The Supreme Court ruled against him. He did it anyway. He's still on the $20 bill, which is the equivalent of putting a one-star review on the product packaging and selling it full price.
Amazon Review Energy: "Product committed genocide. Still prominently displayed in the store. One star feels generous."
Dishonorable Mentions
Richard Nixon: Resigned in disgrace. Watergate. Secret bombing of Cambodia. But he created the EPA and opened China, so he's like a product that's both carcinogenic and occasionally useful, like asbestos.
Woodrow Wilson: Re-segregated the federal government. Screened Birth of a Nation in the White House. Had a debilitating stroke and his wife basically ran the country in secret.
Thomas Jefferson: Wrote "all men are created equal" while owning 600 enslaved people. The cognitive dissonance could power a small city.
George Washington: Owned 300+ enslaved people at Mount Vernon. Rotated his enslaved workers between states every six months specifically to exploit a loophole in Pennsylvania's abolition law. Freed them in his will, which is generous in the way that returning stolen merchandise after you die is generous.
The Bottom Line
The American presidency is the longest-running product line in democracy, and the recall list is staggering. Twelve of the first eighteen presidents enslaved human beings. Multiple committed what would today be classified as crimes against humanity. Several were too drunk, too dead, or too treasonous to function.
If this were any other product category, the FDA would have shut it down in 1830.
Overall Category Rating: ★★☆☆☆ — "Some assembly required. Assembly instructions written by slaveholders."
No Want This rates products so you don't have to. For more reviews of things that should never have existed, visit nowanttthis.com.
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